*Disclaimer: The advice provided is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for legal advice, psychological counseling, or law enforcement. Every situation is unique. The Other Way Martial Consulting assumes no liability for any actions taken based on this information.*
Published on October 24, 2025
Sensei,
I recently had a strange encounter. I was waiting for a bus late one evening, and a man approached me asking aggressively for money. He wasn’t physically threatening, but he was loud, persistent, and made me feel very uncomfortable. There were a couple of other people nearby, but no one intervened.
My first reaction was to freeze – I just stood there. Then, instead of running away (flight) or telling him off (fight), I found myself just nodding, mumbling an apology that I didn’t have cash, and trying to appear non-threatening. It felt like I was submitting, just trying to placate him until he went away, which he eventually did.
I felt disgusted with myself afterward. Why didn’t I just walk away? Why did I feel the need to be almost… nice? I’ve heard of fight or flight, but this felt different, almost like I defaulted to being overly compliant. How can I stop being reactionary and choose a better response?
— Confused Commuter
Handling Aggressive Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Control When Under Stress
Confused Commuter,
You’ve already done something important — you noticed your own reaction. That awareness is the first crack of light in the door between fear and control. What you experienced — freezing, appeasing, or submitting — is completely human. The key is learning how to turn those automatic instincts into deliberate, controlled actions when handling aggressive strangers.
Let’s walk through three simple steps to help you regain control under stress.
1. Acknowledge — Name What’s Happening Inside You
Your first job isn’t to control the other person — it’s to control yourself. When adrenaline floods your system, your body enters what psychology calls the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. Recognizing which one is rising in you helps prevent it from taking over.
Take one slow breath and name what’s happening:
“My chest is tight. My hands are shaking. I’m scared — and that’s okay.”
Acknowledgment instantly brings the conscious brain back online. Instead of being run by instinct, you are observing it. You can read more about these biological responses in this concise overview of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — it’s an excellent primer for understanding how your body reacts to threat.
2. Evaluate for Options — Awareness Creates Control
Once you’ve acknowledged your state, shift your attention outward. Scan your surroundings: exits, people, barriers, lighting. Every detail adds to your sense of control. You are looking for options — not escape at all costs, but strategic movement based on awareness.
This is where the Center-Line Principle becomes valuable. By mentally and physically aligning yourself along your body’s center line — a concept drawn from martial systems — you naturally organize posture, attention, and intent. This centered stance helps you stay balanced, calm, and responsive even when your emotions spike.
→ Learn how to use this mindset in How to Use the Center-Line Principle to Master Your Environment.
When evaluating options, consider:
- Can I move to a more open, visible space?
- Is there someone nearby who could be a social ally or witness?
- Can I establish a clear verbal boundary? (“I’m not able to help you. Please step back.”)
By thinking before reacting, you start to shift from instinctive survival to conscious strategy.
3. Take Action — Respond, Don’t React
Once you’ve gathered your options, choose your action deliberately. It might be walking away, speaking assertively, or positioning your body to create space. What matters is that it’s your choice, not a panic response dictated by fear.
This is where practice makes all the difference. Training — both mental and physical — helps override instinct through repetition. The more you rehearse awareness and boundary-setting, the more natural they become under pressure.
If you’d like a practical follow-up that builds on this mindset, I recommend reading Personal Safety for Women: Choosing Your Best Alarm. Even if you’re not female, it outlines the importance of preparation, environmental scanning, and having your response “preloaded” before you need it.
The Core Principle: Control Yourself, or Something Else Will
Every encounter with an aggressive stranger tests your ability to maintain internal control. The true win isn’t dominance — it’s composure. Whether you fight, flee, or comply isn’t the issue; it’s that you chose your response consciously.
Acknowledge your state. Evaluate your options. Take deliberate action. That’s the formula for transforming instinct into awareness — and fear into focus.
Be aware. Be safe.
That is The Other Way.
— Sensei Duncan