Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! It’s our most sincere wish that everyone is either having – or had, depending on when you read this – a wonderful celebration of the love between mate, friends or just for your fellow human beings. During this time of celebration , though, vigilance for personal safety is more important than ever! Keep reading to find out why.
Celebrations and Holidays are times that people can rejoice in being alive, party, honor each other, enjoy foods that you don’t normally prepare and an opportunity to let down our guard in favor of having a good time…and that’s the problem. Danger doesn’t care what day it is. It’s there, waiting and lurking, poised to strike the moment you get distracted. Here are some simple steps you can take to help ensure you and your loved ones have the best possible Valentine’s Day…but first, a story.
Personal Safety on Valentine’s Day: The Importance
Her breath caught in her throat as he brought out a black, rectangular jewelry box out from his jacket pocket at the restaurant. He had already given her a dozen red roses and had spent the extra time and effort to secure a reservation at the best, most exclusive restaurant in town. He had spent the entire day paying attention to her and treating her like she was the center of his Universe… and now THIS! Glorious!!
Her hands shook a little as she cracked open the small box. Inside, she caught the glint of light off something shiny and she belatedly realized that she was holding her breath. She looked up and saw the gentle smile on his face as she opened the box all the way so she could get a good look at the treasure she was just given as a Valentine’s Day gift. It was a tennis bracelet with alternating diamonds and rubies that seemed to call to her as he gently took the – obviously expensive – bracelet from her shaking hands and connected the ends around her wrist. She held it up to get a better look at it in the romantically dim light of the restaurant.
Lack of Vigilance Spells Disaster
After dinner, he walked her out to the parking lot so they could go home; his mind on her and her mind on him and the new weight on her wrist that symbolized the love he had for her. At that moment, danger raised up it’s ugly head and ruined the otherwise perfect day.
In the parking lot, you see, was a shadow behind one of the cars they had to pass on the way to their own; waiting for the unsuspecting couple to go to their car. During their dinner, an outside observer had gotten a glimpse of that beautiful bracelet and decided that it would look better in a pawn shop with a bunch of money in his pocket than on her wrist. He also knew some people who could help him get the money off that stack of credit cards he saw in the guy’s wallet as he paid for dinner. This was not his first rodeo.
Because the couple was distracted and not paying attention to their surroundings and – in their excitement – didn’t bother to practice some simple personal safety principles, they were easy pickings. As the shadow let itself and it’s desires be known, it got EXACTLY what it wanted. Dejected and afraid – night ruined – the couple went home a few hundred dollars and a very expensive tennis bracelet lighter.
Personal Safety Principles That Can Save the Day
The story above, unfortunately, happens to way too many people at times they are not paying attention and vulnerable; and it happened to me. You see, I was the guy who gave the girl the bracelet at the restaurant. I was 17 at the time and didn’t know what I know now. Luckily, we got out of there with our physical safety intact, but it was a close thing and our wonderful day that I had planned carefully had gotten ruined – for the next week – in just a few moments; all because I didn’t follow a few simple personal safety principles.
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Pay Attention: Environmental Awareness
Environmental awareness is the passive skill of knowing everything around you within 30 ft. (9.14 meters). Had I been practicing this skill at the restaurant, I would have noticed that at least one or two people were paying more attention to our table than to their own celebration.
On the way out to the car, I would have also seen the movement behind – or stationary feet under – a car we passed and might have been able to decide on a different route to the car to avoid being sneaked up on from behind. As it was, my attention was on the girl I was with, the plans I had for later that night and how happy both of us were. I missed all of that and paid dearly for my lack of vigilance.
Giving Gifts: Keep It Private
Giving gifts at a restaurant either during or right after a wonderful meal is a grand gesture that is both romantic and gets a LOT of attention. It’s a scene right out of almost every romantic drama that plays in guys’ heads as much as it does for girls. For me, it was a fairy-tale moment that went off EXACTLY as I had planned. I was proud. She was giddy. It was perfect… EXCEPT…
What I should have done was either given her the bracelet at the house, in the car or waited until we completed the evening and given her the bracelet behind closed doors. Instead, I wanted to surprise her and give her opportunity to show off her new gift. That was a mistake.
Girls, if you are given a gift in public, no matter how much you want to get a better look at the new item(s), don’t hold it up for everyone to see. When my date that night held up the bracelet to get a better look at it in the dim light, she was also broadcasting that she had an expensive piece of jewelry on her wrist. After seeing it in the box, she should have let her excitement about the bracelet be known, but insist that it stay in the box until we could get to a safer place to put it on.
As it was, we both missed opportunities to prevent what followed. Had I given her the present in private, I could have avoided the whole unfortunate event that ruined the night for both of us.
Don’t Flash the Cash
At fancy restaurants, the server generally brings the bill to the table and allows the patrons to pay right there at the table. This means, however, that the person paying will bring out and open their wallet right there at the table in view of everyone around them. This is what happened that fateful night. I brought out my wallet and wound up showing almost everything I had in my wallet to everyone around me; making me a prime target for anyone who wanted what I had.
What I should have done was bring out my wallet and either shielded it between the wall and my body or under the table as I removed my method of payment. This would have prevented me from broadcasting what I had to everyone around me. As it was, the person who eventually ruined the night for me and my date now had knowledge of an expensive bracelet and knew of a target with a large amount of financial possibilities.
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Simple Actions Have Large Impacts
Yeah, we were prime targets. We were young, inexperienced and in obvious possession of expensive items and a good deal of money. We were also so caught up in the moment that we both made some pretty serious mistakes. Mistakes that followed both of us for years to come.
Sure, the loss of the ruby and diamond bracelet and all of my money stung, but the real damage was what it did to us emotionally and psychologically. Now, I can’t talk for my date at this point, but for me it was devastating and effected me in ways I could not have predicted.
The fear and helplessness I felt that night as the person who took our belongings demanded we give them up scarred me for a very long time. I became paranoid and jumped at shadows. Every person that came within 10 ft (3 meters) was a threat and made me tense in a way that made me a bigger threat to myself than anything they could have done. I had a hard time sleeping and my response to all of this almost cost me that relationship. It even effected my friendships negatively because I wouldn’t let people get close to me physically or emotionally. And… this doesn’t even cover the self blame that I threw on myself.
There is Hope
I don’t tell you these thing to ruin your day or cause paranoia. I tell you these things to show – through knowing my personal experience -that your wonderful Valentine’s Day can be saved by practicing a few personal safety principles. Give gifts in private, don’t flash expensive jewelry or the contents of your wallet around and pay attention to your surroundings when you are out in the open.
This vigilance can, potentially, help prevent you and yours from becoming a target for those wanting to take advantage of vulnerable people for their own gain. It’s my sincere wish for people everywhere to be able to enjoy being with each other this Valentine’s Day and for the rest of their lives; living safely and without fear. Until that day comes, stay vigilant, stay aware and stay safe.
Disclaimer: The story above was the real-life event of the author. Your experiences may differ and – hopefully – you may never have to endure what he and his date did. The preventative measures mentioned in the article may also not be enough to prevent the actions of others. The author makes no claims that the methods mentioned are the solution to the problem. Each situation is different and you must take your own precautions as is appropriate to ensure your own safety.
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