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Why Does Everything Go Wrong for Me? | Ask Sensei

Educational purposes only. This column provides advice on personal safety habits and is not a substitute for professional security or legal services.

Ask Sensei: “Why does everything go wrong for me?”

Sensei,

I feel like I’m doing everything right, but I keep getting bad results. My boss is always breathing down my neck, my car keeps breaking down, and my friends never seem to have my back when things get tough. It feels like the world is just against me. Is it just bad luck, or am I missing something?

— Tired of Trying

The Freedom of Responsibility

Dear Tired,

It is not bad luck. You are handing the steering wheel of your life to other people and then wondering why you don’t like the destination. Every time you blame your boss, your car, or your friends for your current state, you are giving them the power to decide your future. You are choosing to be a passenger in your own life.

This is a hard truth to hear: if you are unhappy with where you are, you are the one who caused it. This doesn’t mean bad things didn’t happen to you. It means you are the one responsible for how you allowed those events to affect you. If you wait for the world to be “fair” or for other people to “fix” your situation, you will wait forever. The cavalry is not coming.

The Sovereignty Files

Stop being a victim of your circumstances and start owning your results: The Ownership Filter

To change your results, you must move from blame to accountability. Blame looks backward at things you cannot change. Accountability looks forward at what you can do right now. While you aren’t responsible for the actions of others, you are entirely responsible for your own reactions and your own boundaries.

The moment you accept that you are the cause of your current results is the moment you gain the power to change them. Stop looking for a rescue and start making the moves required to get what you want. Your life is waiting for you to take control of it.

Own the result, or be owned by the people you blame.
— Sensei Duncan

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